More Birthday Hijinks!

Or is it Hi-Jinks? Whatever.

I was quite remiss when I forgot to mention that Andra sent me a couple of VERY funny e-cards for my birthday. I very much enjoyed those.

I'm going to Ben & Tricia's soon for the birthday party. I hope everyone enjoyed Tricia's comment to my earlier post...

I think when I make my version of that "get to know your friends" thingy, I'm going to put this one in: Has anyone ever thrown a surprise party for you? If so, give details.

What do you think?

Happy Birthday to Me!

And a Happy Birthday to my first cousin (once removed), Casey!

Well, here I am, 38 and all. I have no vehicle. I rent my home. I have no credit rating to speak of. Bask in the glow of my success!

So, about the car thing. Mine went BOOM on I-35 last Sunday. It was great. White smoke everywhere, me flying down the road at 65 m.p.h., trying to move over to get to the next exit.

Good times.

But, on the "life-don't-suck-so-much" side, I have friends who are willing to help me get home and offer me a temporary vehicle and sell me their old vehicles. These aren't all the same friends. I just mean I have friends who are willing to help. Hooray for them!

The JAWNZ (since Jhoneric spells his name J-O-H-N and Jon spells his the way I just spelled it, I don't know how to refer to them in writing... you can say "the Jons" or "the Johns" without anybody knowing how you spell it... but writing it is more tougher) gave me a couple of terrific birthday gifts. Lyndsey also gave me a couple of fun gifts at our weekly dinner on Wednesday. And both of her kids drew me birthday gifts, which makes for nice fridge art. Almost all the kids at school signed a card for me (and the ones who couldn't will be doing so over the next few weeks, if they like), and I've received several cards from friends.

And I haven't checked the mail yet today!

Now I'm going to go call Casey, because I haven't wished him a happy birthday for several years. But since our birthday is on a Saturday this year, I have plenty of time to sit down and do that. I'm a horrible first cousin (once removed).

I have a birthday celebration tomorrow at the Hart home, and some things to take care of today... so all in all a nice birthday weekend, methinks. I'll try to report back later to confirm that.

Another stupid questionnaire...

This is what I sent out in mass e-mail last week. Just thought I'd share. Maybe I'll find others from years past and share them as well. Enjoy.

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Mark Travis Riggs

2. WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING? What kind ofquestion is that? Is this some kind of sick-o phone-sex question? Are yougoing to ask if I'm alone now? Well, are you? ARE YOU? I am... so what are you wearing? I'm wearing grey sweat pants, my "I'm home" outfit.

3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Water dripping into thekitchen sink. If I had the CD player on it would be either Cyndi Lauper(Hat Full of Stars or Sisters of Avalon), R.E.M. (Out of Time orAutomatic for the People), The Williams Brothers (self-titled), or The Prolcaimers (Sunshine on Leith). (It's one of those six-CD do-dads.) If I was in the car and NPR wasn't doing it for me, They Might Be Giants' CD Mink Car is at the ready. And lately my morning CD in my classroom has been The Wilders' CD Spring A Leak. So don't judge me as a music-hater just becuase I'm listening to water dripping in my kitchen sink right now.

4. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Cold pizza forbreakfast,washed down with orange juice, not the warm Coke Christine Lavin mentions in the song "Cold Pizza for Breakfast".

5. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? When I see them. More often I hold mybreath and make a wish when crossing a bridge, but that's usually back home only, when crossing the Mississippi.

6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? I've done this questionnaire before, because I'm remembering my last answer to this question. I don't know. Perhaps the least-used one, because nobody likes to feel used.

7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? I haven't been outside, but Ithink it's butt cold. It was butt cold last night, anyway.

8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? I'm tryingto think. It's been a while since I've been on the phone. It might have beenThursday morning at school, when another teacher called my room to ask me something. It was Ed Bowman, if that's the case.

9. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS? What the hell kind of question is that? You tell me to send this back to them, so no matter what I actually feel about the person (and I do love her to no end, and will always have a strong batch of son-to-mother-type feelings for her), I'm going to have to say something nice, right? I suppose if Iwanted the person to never e-mail me again I could say something negative, but that's kinda rude. Anyway, I already said I like her, so there.

10. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? I'm doing okay. How are you? I'm a bit tired, and I just now remembered I was supposed to be somewhere two hours ago, but I'm still doing okay. I wish my life was different in alot of ways, but I'm still okay. I mean, if I had to do it all over again... man, why'd you have to bring this up?

11. FAVORITE BEVERAGE? Ice water.

12. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Bud Light.

13. FAVORITE SPORT? Making fun of those different than me. I kid. Bowling. And making fun of those different than me.

14. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS OR GLASSES? I'm supposed to wear glasses. I wear neither.

15. # OF SIBLINGS? 3 sisters, 4 brothers

16. FAVORITE MONTH? December

17. FAVORITE FOOD? Chicken Burrito from Chipotle. I like the hotsauce and black beans with that. Sour cream and cheese, also.

18. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? It could have been "Man on Fire",but I don't think so. I'd rented two other movies at the same time, so I can't remember for sure which one was last (and I can't remember what the other movies were).

19. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? It is hard to choose between Christmas, the last day of school, and any day I can sleep in late.

20. WHAT DO YOU DO TO VENT? Usually I type a long vent-y e-mail to a friend.

21. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? Record player.

22. SUMMER OR WINTER? Both.

23. HUGS OR KISSES? It depends... if we're talking "from a bear and a spider-woman", I'd pick "kisses" for the bear, and "hugs" from the spider-woman... just because they haven't been done as much.

24. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Chocolate Malt

25. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO REPLY? Seriously, I need to put together one of these, because this is the stupidest thing I've seen onhere yet. No, I want to wonder if they hate me, so I'd rather they not respond. DUH!

26. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Tricia, but she won't send it to very many people if she does.

27. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Tricia, because her behavior is hard to predict sometimes. Or Say, since she's the one whosent it to me in the first place.

28. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS? I live alone in a house I rent. Thanksfor making me put it into words.

29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Just now after I had toput that last answer into words. I kid. It was Tuesday night at Chorus rehearsal. We sang this song about Mother. It's a tear-jerker.

30. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED? Probably a book I'd finished reading and sat on the floor by my bed, then accidentally kicked it under there. Plus lots of dust.

31. WHO IS THE FRIEND YOU HAVE HAD THE LONGEST? That I'm not related to? Tricia.

32. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? Bowled (HORRIBLY, I might add), then came home and watched some TV, then slept for 10 hours.

33. FAVORITE SMELL? Winter. Also, the smell of cookies baking.

34. WHO INSPIRES YOU? To do what? Several people inspire me, but look at my life. They're not doing a very good job of it!

35. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? Zombies and cuts. Death (of everyone else, not me... I mean, I'll be dead, so what will I care?).

36. PLAIN, BUTTERED OR SALTED POPCORN? Buttered, but I'm going to regret it later.

37. FAVORITE CAR OR TRUCK? It would be nice to afford one of each... but I'd prefer to have a truck.

38. FAVORITE FLOWER? I've SO answered this before,too... it's the one that used to grow alongside our house when I was a kid. Yellow... I don't know what it was called.

39. NUMBER OF KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING? 5, but one is just for looks.

40. CAN YOU JUGGLE? A little. Why do you ask?

41. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK? Friday or Sunday. Maybe Saturday.Wednesday is good, too. I never quite got the hang of Thursdays.

42. WHAT DID YOU DO ON YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY? Okay, I'm supposed to remember that far back? I think I... um... well, I think we had school that day... I am trying hard to remember here... I don't know.

43. DO YOU OWN A DONOR CARD? I used to. I don't think I do now.

44. FAVORITE ANIMAL? Small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

45. FAVORITE VACATION SPOT? I don't vacate often. Somewhere with a beach would be nice.

46. FAVORITE AGE? For me? I don't know. I'll get back to youwhen I've lived through them all and can compare.

47. FAVORITE MAGAZINE? GAMES magazine.

48. FAVORITE WEB SITE? http://wildersontour.blogspot.com/

49. FAVORITE SOAP OPERA? Desperate Housewives

50. FAVORITE LANGUAGE OTHER THAN ENGLISH? Pig Latin, but sinceSay said it first I'll go with German

One last holiday thought...

I noticed something last night that I hadn't noticed before...

I had turned off the tree (yes, the tree is still up... great, now I have to interrupt the earlier thought to explain my Personal Holiday Season: For me the holiday season begins the day after Thanksgiving and extends until the end of the first week in January. I cringe if I see holiday stuff up before Thanksgiving, but my reaction is not as dramatic if things are taken down before the 7th is over... but I do believe it's bad luck to take it down before the 1st. Now, where was I? Oh yeah...) last night and then realized I'd left something in the kitchen. I dreaded going to get it, because the trip from the kitchen back to the stairs would mean having to see the tree in its unlit state (see earlier post regarding unlit tree and negative emotions). But I went anyway.

Bonus surprise! The lights shining through the window (my outside lights are on a timer) reminded me very much of the lights we had on our front porch when we were kids. They are basically the same type of lights. Every year we would use the lights to form a star on one half of the front porch. There were two doors leading off the front porch (side by side... which, come to think of it, was kinda odd... I should try to find out why that was). One door led to the living room, and the other led to what was my bedroom for most of my childhood.

I have memories from early childhood of sneaking out of bed to peer out the window in the door leading to the porch (a door we never used, mainly because the porch swing was right in front of it, I think), and all the happy feelings seeing those lights gave me.

Seriously, I need to go into analysis to find out what the deal is with holiday lights and my emotional state.

Happy New Year!

I made it back safe and sound, but was too wrapped up in life and updating my website to post anything. Dane and I went out a couple of times while I was back home. He knows about as much as what's going on in Center as I do.

I have yet to run into anyone I recognize while in Center... outside of family, I mean.

Had fun bowling New Year's Eve, and then went to a party that wasn't my traditional New Year's Eve party. I had a good time, but I did miss my old NYE gang.

PLJ&T had their traditional NYD gig, and it was fun (I got there very late... I woke up somewhat early (for NYD, anyway), and decided to lay down for a nap around 11:00. Leigh called and woke me up at 3:40. I'm such the loser...)

We had a work day at school yesterday, and today we dismissed early because of this lovely ice-storm we're having. I'm looking forward to the loss of power and freezing cold house. With luck, there could be some frozen water pipes in the mix! Hooray!

I have something akin to the flu. I don't know how to tell a cold from the flu, so we'll just call it either/or. It's yucky, but what are you going to do.

Here's hoping for a snow day tomorrow, so I don't have to call in sick!

We're starting fractions this month. I need to go figure out some activities to use. Everyone have a good January... and there are only 25 more shopping days until my birthday! Or is it 24? Do I count my birthday or not?

I'm going home...

I'm heading out for a couple of days. I should have been gone some time ago, but I overslept.

Don't let anything exciting happen in KC while I'm gone!

A Visit with Scooter

Andra and I drove up to Brookfield on Thursday, December 23rd, to finally visit Scott's grave. The fact it's been almost ten years since I heard about his death and still this is the first time I've gone is still sorta weighing heavily on my conscience.

It was a nice trip up. Andra and I talked about many varied topics: people from college, how life as someone who is almost 40 is, horrible/wonderful things that happened in college, horrible/wonderful things that happened after college, how we came to be the people we are, lots of conversation about Scott (a.k.a. Scooter).

Brookfield kinda took us by surprise, so we didn't even realize we'd passed TT (which is the road the graveyard is just past). We drove all the way through Brookfield on 36 highway looking for TT, and had to turn around. We went to one graveyard we'd spotted, but it was "the other" graveyard in Brookfied, not the one we wanted.

We stopped at a gas station to get directions, and still managed to drive by the graveyard "exit" (it's really just a right turn that sneaks up on you).

I am still trying to decide if it was appropriate that it was so cold that day. I mean, if the world felt to Scooter the way I felt that day... well, I'll just stop at "it was too cold" and leave it at that.

Except to add that the ground was actually warm, which makes where I was going with that last bit even ickier. But the ground was warm. We'd both gotten down to brush away dirt and dead grass that had gotten on his grave and I noticed the ground felt warm, so I stayed there while we had our visit.

As you may notice from the picture above, his birthdate was not on the stone. This bothered me for some reason, and Andra (who has a background in the whole "history and research" area), said it would be easy to get his Death Certificate from City Hall. We'd just need a couple of bucks. So after playing Scott some music and just generally chatting about things, we went to City Hall.

Easier said than done, however. They have a lovely City Square/Park in Brookfield, and City Hall isn't on it. The two people we stopped to ask weren't able to help us. Andra finally had to go into a business and ask them. We got to City Hall, but it closed at noon that day, and wouldn't be open again until after Christmas.

Andra had the idea of going to the funeral home that handled his funeral (she had done a sort of pre-visit research in order to learn where Scott was buried... see, she's the queen of research). She said they would have a record there. I hummed and hawed and she said, "Well, we're here now..." so I went. But I told her she'd have to do all the talking because I didn't know what to ask for.

And that's the story of how I learned Scott's birthday again. I say "again" because I'm sure I knew it at one point, even if it was just whenever his birthday came around while we were in college.

Anyway, back to the site: Andra had heard from the guy at the funeral home that Scott's mom had died recently. We thought he meant his birth mother, but it was actually the woman who raised him. That was another sad thing, as Dawn had said (again, almost 10 years ago) that when I visited Scott's grave, I should go see his Grandmother, because she would love to hear from friends of Scott. I guess I got there too late.

Bask in the guilt.

And there is this feeling of guilt that comes with it. We walked into the funeral home and Andra said we were friends of Scott's, and I had to wonder if the people were thinking, "Some friends... where were you during the dark night of his soul?"

Where was I? I know where I was in my life. I'd just left L.A., and was wishing I could get back there, but wanted to go back with money and not live as month-to-month as I had before. I wanted to know what I wanted to do with my life. I keep trying to remember what it was I did for Thanksgiving in 1994. I know I had been in Butler earlier in the month, helping Jason. I assume I was at home. Jordan would have been just a few weeks old. But as Thanksgivings go (granted, I've had a few "stand-out" Thanksgivings), it doesn't stand out at all. I didn't even know it should have stood out until the following summer.

So I don't know where I was. Lost in my life, I guess. I think I'm still there sometimes, and that's no good. But what to do, what do to?

If you're driving east on highway 36 and almost to Brookfield, and you happen to see this UMB sign:

Do me a favor and wave "hi" to Scooter for me. Tell him I miss him and I wish he could write me a letter.

Field vs. Pasture

Tricia read my blog, and has this to add (and opted not to put it as a comment, I guess...):

This is the farm girl talking....... A field is a piece of ground that has been or will be, with the intent, tilled for the purpose of growing a busheled or measurable crop.
A pasture is a piece of ground that is grassy, and may or may not have been sowed withsome type of specific seed, with the intent to graze animals (put out to pasture), or propagate the seed sowed.
The piece of ground you refer to is most likely an overgrown lot, unless it
is the Stewart's land you refer too, and that is a pasture, or at least was when we were kids.

So there you have it, folks. However, it was always referred to as "Opal Palmer's Pasture" (I've since remembered it was referred to as a "pasture"), which makes me wonder if at some point she didn't keep some sort of animals there. I know there was a fence at one end of it, so maybe she did at one point.

Road Trip

Tomorrow--or later this morning, really--Andra and I are making a road trip up to Brookfield. 9 years and 4 months (or so) after learning of the death of Scott David McKinney (who died a little over 10 years ago), I'm finally going to see his grave.

I have mixed feelings about it. I was over at Bee's tonight. Andra was there with letters Scott and I both wrote to her in the early 90s. Lots of things Scott had written were very... sad, I guess... in retrospect.

I wish he could be alive today, and that Andra and I could be going to visit him in person instead of visting his grave.

I wish whatever made him so sad and willing to leave this world would have been something we could have helped him through... or even known about.

Wish in one hand, spit in the other... see which one gets full faster.

Oh Christmas Tree

And as long as we're on the topic of things my brain are having a hard time dealing with...

What is it about a Christmas tree lit with the individually-blinking lights that makes me so content? I can't explain it. Maybe it's the fact it's my own tree, and when I was a kid I always wanted to have a tree that contained individually-blinking lights only. Now I do. I can sit in front of the tree with all the rest of the lights in the house off and not get bored for hours. I just feel so happy.

Conversely, why is it the saddest thing I've ever seen when I turn off the lights and am heading upstairs and I glance back and see the tree silhouetted in the window, dark and grim?

I'm just wondering. I'm glad to have the relaxing therapy every evening in December... but I feel like Lot's wife every time I glance back at my darkened tree before heading upstairs... only without that whole "oops, I'm a pillar of salt" feeling.

Going home...

I've been meaning to write about this since Ruth and I first went back to work on Dane's NEW AND IMPROVED room, but haven't had a spare moment.

I don't know how much I'll get into it now, but there was something about seeing the town I grew up in so changed, and mostly it didn't seem to be for the better.

I had to wonder if kids still rode their bikes around town in the summer, and if families still knew each other as well as they did when I was a kid. We weren't 8th generation Centerites or anything close, so it's not like my family was known for generations... but still, I had older brothers and an older sister, and it wasn't like we'd arrived a day or two before I was born.

There was this big field or pasture (I'll have to look both words up for clarification on the difference between the two) behind our house. We would go there to fly kites. It was really nothing more than a big grassy area in the middle of the large block we lived on. It's till there. The tree we had a tire swing on is still there.

Lots of things are still there. But there just seems to be so much missing that I have this huge urge to write all about it. It feels like I have to explain to people, like Costello trying to explain to Abbot that what Abbot sees when he looks out the window isn't what Costello saw when he was just looking out that same window a short time ago. Only on a much larger scale.

Anyway, I just wanted to get that out there. The passing of time is an awful thing at times. I think I might have to come out against it.

Okay, where did those 3 months go?

Wow... time has slipped by me. Again.

Well, I wanted to post this deep, introspective piece about going home again when I went back home back in... September or October or so... but that didn't happen. Maybe I'll try to piece it together another time.

I do, however, have a deep, introspective piece to throw in about my Christmas tree. I'll try to do that after I update my home page for December... and I hope to do that on Saturday.

Keep reading my not-a-blog, all two of you!

Two Funerals an Open House... and Some Bowling... and Some Singing

This was a busy week. I'm sure that's why whatever this sinus/congestion crud is that won't leave my system felt welcome to stay.

I had my first chorus rehearsal this week. The word is "OVERWHELMED". Lots of music to memorize... but then again, memorizing music is easier than memorizing lines, so I guess I can take some of the "whelm" away. Met lots of nice people, and a couple of people I've... um... met before. Always fun.

After-school activities started this week, so Tuesday and Thursday I got to stay after school... and on Thursday I was there until 7:30-ish for Open House...

But wait, there's more!

Right after Open House the team from last year went to a funeral home for a visitation. One of last year's students had a mother who was fighting cancer. They thought things had turned around, I guess, but then they hadn't after all.

I would say that 13/14 is too young to lose your mother, but really, when is it a walk in the park to lose your mother?

Still I felt for the girl. She seemed to be holding up okay, but I think part of that is some strange cultural leftovers where we expect much wailing and gnashing of teeth or something. So when you see a total lack of wailing and very little teeth-gnashing, you think, "Wow, they're holding up great."

So that was my Thursday. Then on Friday and went to the visitation and part of the funeral for Alice's grandson, who was one week away from making it into this world when he passed on to the next. In retrospect, I wish I would have just taken the afternoon off. Somehow I got it in my head the funeral was at 11:00, and I figured I could make that on my planning time and be back to school in time for the first class after plan time. It started closer to 11:30, so I had to leave shortly after things started.

Luckily for me this sinus/congestion/sore throat thing was making my throat all "hey-you-need-to-cough-y", so it made for a sensible reason to get up and leave the room.

The parents seemed to be holding up okay... again with the whole, "What did you expect? Wailing and gnashing of teeth?"

And I'm sure there's been much wailing... much teeth-gnashing... much in the Deep Sense of Loss department.

And here's something about when something like this happens: It makes you appreciate life more, and that appreciation of life makes you sadder about what happened. Kind of a vicious circle, really.

Meaning, I had the thought "Well, this world is one crappy place most of the time, so maybe skipping is not the worst thing that could happen to a person." Then this thought was followed by my thinking of all the things he's going to miss out on, and thus the appreciation for the good things this place has to offer... which is immediately followed by a sense of sadness for all this person will be missing... which brings you back to "What a crappy place this is most of the time." And around and around we go.

Which is to say, what a week.

Luckily I had my first week of Friday Night League, and I bowled much and laughed almost as much. Back to the good things of this world.

And I bowled too well for my first week. I set my average much higher than it was before.

Oh well.

Everyone have a good life until (and even beyond) my next post... and see how many things you can think of that are "Okay, life is crappy except for THAT".

Happy Holiday Weekend!

Two weeks down... 34 or so more to go...

Don't get me wrong: I love the teaching part of teaching. But these days that's only about 5% of my job. The rest of it is a messy combination of jumping through hoops, dealing with the latest "attempt to improve education" (in quotes because it's usually more of an attempt to look like the elected official in question is trying to improve education, while really causing more problems than solving), last-minute policy change announcements, policy changes teachers are apparently left to guess at, and general bullcrap.

Anyway, this post in my non-blog was supposed to be about the holiday. Not all that crap.

It's been fun. I'm house-sitting... and dog-sitting... which is why I haven't returned e-mails sent to me after Friday.

It's nice being in a home much cleaner than my own. Plus, they have central air, and I don't have to sleep with a window open. I think that's where part of my sinus nightmare of this week came from.

Oh, by the way... I had a sinus nightmare this week. Not the real kind, but the real kind.

It makes sense if you remember that nightmare's aren't supposed to be real. Okay, sort of makes sense.

My sinus problems seem to be on the way out. You know, several health plans ago (my first or second year of teaching, I think... and as this is my 7th year of teaching, that would be 5 or 6 health plans ago), my doctor wanted me to undergo some tests to get to the bottom of all my sinus issues. There was potentially going to be a head scan and surgery. Then we changed health plans and he couldn't be my doctor any more. I've never seen my current doctor. Perhaps I should schedule an appointment... but his first available appointment is always like 6 weeks or 6 months away, and I have trouble enough knowing what I'm going to be doing in 6 minutes.

Anyway, hope everyone is having a stellar holiday weekend. I know mine has been enjoyable... mostly due to the over-the-counter sinus meds I've been taking!

One week down...

35 to go...

It's been an odd week at school. I miss having Martin around. Campbell's not around. It's just an odd thing. But we've finished the first week, and the kids seem like a good bunch, overall (since I think I believe that people are basically good with the potential for evil, this is usually how I think of the kids anyway...).

The show closed last night, and I'll be glad for the free time... but I'll miss doing that show and I'll miss the cast (although there wasn't a lot of backstage bonding, since I was onstage just about the entire show). I did have a dream last night about the show. The actress portraying Julie was onstage, and we both lost our place in the script, so we were making up stuff until we could figure out where we needed to be. It was very odd.

I was going to go see The Wilders today, but I decided with gas prices as they are, maybe a drive to Kearney is not such the wise choice. I'll do my walk here in a few minutes, then I'll watch a few Buffy episodes, then I'll go to Ben & Tricia's for dinner... and yes, I'll have a shower somewhere after the walk, but before the dinner.

Hope your life is going well, whoever and wherever you are.

Summer's out for school...

Well, we're back. I'm at loose ends because my friend, my own personal Cordelia Chase, my lunch buddy, my chum, my... I'm out of ways to refer to her... but she's not there this year! It's making me not enjoy the year as much... okay, maybe it's just because it's the first day.

I'm noticing my emotions seem to be on major hold these days. The other night when the show opened, I didn't get nervous until the call for "places" came. Then all of a sudden: BAM! nervous.

And I wasn't dealing with this absent friend at all until this morning on the way to school, when I realized I wasn't as excited as usual about the year starting up, and then I realized why.

I went into her old room this morning to give someting to the teacher who took her place, and I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown or something.

Oh well, I'll get over it. So it goes.

In other news...

First, let me apologize. I don't think people should die for voting as if they were a German living in early Nazi Germany... but I do think they should be put in so much pain they'd wish they were dead, and there should be a button on the wall that says "Death and an end to pain," but when they hit it, it merely causes them even more pain.

Because I think it's wrong to wish people dead, and I let my anger lead me down a bad path... see the nightmare post from earlier.

But enough of my asking forgiveness for doing something so thoughtless...

I had to tell a funny story from a few days after the election. My supervisor was having me collect these packs from people so I could get them all ready for the next time we needed them. Our boss had one, and I asked her if I could get it back. She gave me her keys and said it was in her car. She asked if I knew her vehicle, and I said yes.

So I'm in the parking lot, standing by her car (I see that pack in the car), and no matter how I position the keychain, I can't make the door unlock. I try the keys, but they don't work.

I go back upstairs and ask her if I had the right car (despite having seen the pack in the car). She confirms her vanity plate letters, and I go back down to spend another five or ten minutes attempting to get in.

Did I mention it's hot outside, and stairs are involved in getting back to the office every time I go back in.

So I decide to give up, and start walking up the outside stairs to the office. Then I decide to see if I can make the alram sound. I hit the button and a truck on the other side of the parking lot goes nuts. I realzed at that point I had no experience with car alarms, and hoped there wasn't anything complicated about turning them off... I hit the button again and shut it up, then went to my boss to explain what happened.

"Oh, I forgot, I have both vehicles here today!"

I was too happy realizing I wasn't as big of an idiot as I thought to be angry. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who makes mistakes like that, I guess.

Okay, I admit it, it was funnier when I was living it...

Missouri: The Show-Me-Hate

Well, what more is there to say than 71% of the Missourians who voted yesterday deserve to die in a very painful way, while I watch (eating popcorn, even)?

There is a certain feeling of freedom you get when you are free to hate without having to hide it in a constitutional amendment. Missouri... what a scab on the face of this nation.

I figured it was going to pass, but I didn't think it would be by so much. I forgot Missouri has thousands of the hate-houses (they call them churches... mostly they believe this guy named Jesus came from some thing called god to teach everyone how to hate correctly... as if we as humans couldn't figure that out on our own) that afflict the countryside. So many hate-houses, so few bulldozers.

Ah, Missouri. What a joke.

There aren't words to describe how disgusting. It's as if the state has legalized the lynching of people of the "wrong" skin color... or legalized the forced wearing of little yellow star-shaped patches for certain citizens. Let's take a whole sub-set of our population, and call them "less than human". It's worked SO well in the past.

He's from Missouri. You'll have to show him.

Well, there are still 49 other states that think freedom isn't about discrimination and hatred. But you better pencil that number in. I hear Kansas is REAL upset-like and all that it didn't get to be the first scab state in the fag-hatin' festival.

And now, a word from our bowler...

Lisa and I won first place in DOUBLES in the tournament this weekend! Woo-hoo!

That is all. For now. More on Jon and Jhoneric and Julie and Stacy winning first in TEAM to follow later.

Nightmare...

Okay, it's so seldom I have a nightmare that I have to share it... but be warned, it might not be for the faint of heart. It's kinda icky in places.

The first part of the nightmare was about me visiting this guy I hardly know at all. I was at his house and these giant tornadoes attacked the city. We were watching it all out his bay window (I've never seen this guy's house, but I guess I think he has a bay window). The tornados were possessed or something, because you could plainly see faces on them, almost like they were being projected onto them.

Anyway, tornado, tornado, scream, crash, scary scary, but then that part of the dream ended when I left this guy and his family and started walking down the road.

The paved road became a gravel road, and I saw a car coming (did I mention it suddenly was the middle of the night?) and decided I should hide from it. It was like a Hummer or something, and they didn't see me. But as I was leaving the tall grass where I'd been hiding, I realized the road was no longer a gravel road, but more of a worn path. This was made more strange (and creepy) by the fact a voice said, "Be sure to choose the right path."

I decided since disembodied voices don't speak to me often, I should make this my primary guideline for the next few minutes... and of course the next thing I know I turn down a path that became a street decorated for Halloween... but in a creepy way. I can't explain how it was creepy. There were scarecrows with jack-o-lantern heads, and other whatnot.

But the really creepy part distracted me from the what-makes-this-so-creepy?-ness: I looked down and there was what appeared to be either a mauled baby or an aborted fetus.

And it wasn't alone. There was another one just a few feet ahead of me. Then I realized there was sort of a trail of them. So I start following this trail of small bloody bodies, and I'm totally freaking out (I mean the more lucid part of me... in the dream I was just simply terrified). I get to this tree and they've been like nailed to it or something, making the trail go up the tree, and laying on a branch is this big fat guy, all bloody and bloated and WAY obviously dead... and he'd been cut open, too. It was hideous.

When remembering this dream yesterday (I had it night before last), I thought I woke up there, but thinking about it, I remember there was a part after it where I had a total freak-out... I was freaked that I'd SO obviously chosen the wrong path, after the nice disembodied voice had advised against it, and I was freaked out because: ick... dead bodies galore.

I remember a brief bit about trying to find someone to tell me which way to the right path. And then while I was freaking out, I think that's when I woke up.

I'd like to blame the nightmares on the beverages I'd ingested while hanging out with Jon & Jhoneric Friday night. However, I had a mini-nightmare last night. Nothing like that one, so I won't bother to share it.

I must be nuts.