Why go to the movies?

In this, my first draft of the letter I want to write to Cinemark, I will share with you my experience of viewing Shrek 2 tonight...

Everything was fine and dandy until 4 Cheryls come in (ask Jhoneric what a Cheryl is, and I apologize to my cousin Cheryl for using that term in that way), yammering away (the previews have started).

Now, if you're the type of person who doesn't have any interest in watching the previews, here's a cookie. I'm proud of you. Shout it from the mountain tops on your own time, perhaps in the direction of someone who could give a drenn.

So I let them have their I'm-an-idiot talk until just before the movie started... because why bother with the big lesson on respect when the smaller lessons of simple addition and knowing their hind ends from holes in the ground are so far beyond them, right?

But the movie started, and I leaned forward (of course, they had to sit in front of me) and said, "Just so you know, this isn't your living room, and if you continue to talk, I'm going to have to ask the management in here."

And these four Cheryls took this opportunity to talk. I figured I wouldn't miss much if I just missed the first few moments, so I got up and told the first lackey I could that I needed the problem of the four "ladies" talking taken care of. I lucked out and ran into someone right outside the theater (I was in one in the back corner, of course).

What does this guy do? He comes in the entrance that is in front of most of the seats. I didn't say "the four idiot ladies who can't figure out to shut up if someone official is watching them".

So, about 15 minutes into the movie, I have to get up again. This time I go straight to the first person who looks like they might be of some managementedness... and I know that's not a word. And I say, "This is the second time I've had to come out of Shrek 2 to have someone take care of these four girls who will not stop talking. If I have to come back again, I'm going to want my money back."

I was told to stop by on my way out and I'd get a free pass anyway, but as it didn't come with these four Cheryls' tongues on a platter, I had no interest in it.

Guess how they came looking? Yes, not the door at the BACK of the theater, but the entrance that leads you right to the front of most of the house.

Idiots. Paper-cuts.

So you'll have to wait until Shrek 2 comes out on DVD to ask me what I think of it. Mostly I think your average American has no sense of BASIC respect for those around them. This is not news. I've thought this for years. But it's nice to be proven right again and again. Not.

Okay. Rant over. Have a nice day.

I just saw the new Harry Potter movie and it reminded me... someone should make a movie out of the third book...

Okay, what a load of crap that movie was!

I mean, maybe it was okay if you've never read any of the books. I wouldn't know. But Tricia was trying to like it and she said she failed.

Okay, I'll start with the robes: My favorite "robeless" moment was when they went to Hogsmeade for the first time... I leaned over to Tricia and said, "Yeah, lets all wear our Muggle clothes to go visit a WIZARD VILLAGE!"

And what are the wizards wearing instead of actual robes? Apparently some clothes they stole from a production of some Dickens story. I understand why that choice was made, of course, because Dickens wrote so many stories about wizards, except he didn't.

And I understand you must take things out of a huge book like that when dumbing it down for the American audience, but don't you think the actual PLOT needs to be included... they barely touched on the betrayal of Harry's parents, and didn't even explain HOW they were betrayed, and how everyone was so sure who did the betraying. And then there was no explanation whatsoever of why Sirius, Pettigrew, and Potter became Animagi. And they aren't given credit for the Marauder's Map.

And did the screenwriter's copy of the book get dropped in a blender? Did he have to tape it back together?

And if you have that much money for special effects, that's the best you can do with the Patronus (which, by the way, isn't just a shield... but apparently... ugh, I can't even continue with that particular part of this rant).

Suffice it to say, I think I am done witht he Harry Potter movies. The good news is they can't touch what's in my head.

Oh, wait, I forgot... the whole scene with Harry crying in the woods and Hermione coming to comfort him... what was that?

And I like how they just ignore character traits... Harry steals candy from Neville? I ask again... Harry Potter STEALS candy from the non-evil Neville?

If you haven't gone to see it... well, first, sorry to ruin bits for you. Secondly, save your money! Read the book and enjoy the movie your own mind makes. It's always safe to say that will beat the actual movie any day of the week. I'm talking ANY movie, here, not just this sorry excuse for one.

Rant over.