Interlude: Some E-mail From 2006

The day was May 10, 2006, a day like any other day at a midwestern middle school in May. At 9:48 a.m. Jeff sent this to the entire staff:

>>> Jeffery L. 5/10/2006 9:48 AM >>>
Anyone know of someone who does carpet installation? Would you happen to know the price per square foot? Im trying to get some quotes for the new carpet in our house. Thanks


Jeff

<<<<

Then, twelve minutes later, this arrives in everyone's mailbox from Pat:

>>> Pat S. 5/10/2006 10:00 AM >>>
Anyone know a reliable auto air conditioning company.

<<<<<

Two minutes after that, this arrives:

>>> Stephanie H. 5/10/2006 10:02 AM >>>
Anybody knows someone who does fence repair? tennis court repair?

I guess we are getting ready for summer around here.

<<<<<

So, anyone that knows me knows my fingers are twitching at this point. I am required by the laws of my nature to not let this sort of thing just sit there. I would not be me if I wasn't taking advantage of this perfect set-up. So, within a minute, I sent:

>>> Mark Riggs 5/10/2006 10:03 AM >>>
Does anyone know how to get blood out of a shag carpet? We're talking LOTS of blood here.