This is not a story about my mother as much as it is a story about the complete and total ignorance of youth.
It was the late 70s. I was in either late elementary school or about to enter Junior High. Saturday Night Live was mostly the original cast, and I tried to watch it when I could--just because it was so "adult".
For some reason, Mom and I were standing pretty close, face-to-face. She might even have just gotten a hug from me. I have no idea. I just remember we were face-to-face. Wanting to say something funny to her, I flashed on this little tidbit from the Weekend Update part of SNL:
"Yes," thought my young and ignorant mind, "That's funny."
I looked her in the eyes and said, "Mom, you ignorant slut."
I remember she was smiling at the time. You know how things go to slow motion in your mind in a life-or-death kind of situation?
Oh yeah, totally there.
Her face started to cloud over (in slow motion--or that's how I remembered it later, of course), and I could see something was very wrong.
I blurted out as fast as I could and in a very panicked voice, "I don't know what it means! I don't know what it means!"
Yes, my quick thinking saved my life that day. I was instructed that if I don't know what a word means, perhaps I shouldn't use it. (Never mind that I had a good idea of what "ignorant" meant, but still used it.) I was, however, allowed to live.
That's one of my favorite stories to tell about my own ignorance--not just because it shows how ignorant I have been in the past (and thus may be in the future), but it's apparently crazy funny--at least Brenda seems to enjoy the story... and I enjoy that she enjoys it.
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