Sunday, February 21, 2010

How Much Do I Hate Being Cut?

A lot.

Being cut is one of my big fears... or crazy-making-things. The other is zombies.

Luckily, we live in a world where cuts are far more likely (I say "luckily", but really, using movies as my major source of information, I think even I could outrun most zombies... but there's that whole "never giving up" thing they do, and I know I'd need to rest).

So tonight I was cleaning up the kitchen because... well, it needed it, mostly. I was doing great. I was looking for that brown plastic square thing designed to clean the pizza stone. While I was blindly feeling around in the drawer where most items like that are kept, I failed to remember I bought a great bread knife a short while back.

Apparently, it also works well on fingertips.

So now my nice clean kitchen looks like a bloodbath.

Not really, but there was more blood than I care to deal with.

As I stood there, applying pressure and trying to work my way from the base of my brain to my frontal lobe, I realized there was almost no chance I had a Band-Aid in the house. Any Band-Aids I had prior to the move would have been in the bathroom, and there was nothing salvageable in that bathroom after the fire.

I did run the past ten months through my mind, in case I had forgotten buying Band-Aids, but my quick-replay just made me more sure I was a man without Band-Aids.

But I checked anyway.

Once I was sure there were no adhesive bandage strips to be found, I realized I would have to go to get some. By now the pressure I'd applied seemed to have stopped the bleeding, but I knew I'd be brushing this finger again an again as I reached in my pocket, put on my jacket, put on my shoes, etc., that I had to go.

And, because of all those things I just mentioned needing to avoid until I got a Band-Aid, this meant I went with no coat in my slippers, and I had to do a funny sort of dance-thing to get my keys out of my left pocket with my right hand.

On the up side, I am now stocked up on bandages. I didn't debate the issue long, as I now had recent experience with needing a Band-Aid and not having any. I got several varieties, and some Neosporin. I was looking for those little scissors you can use to cut off dead skin, because I think that's going to be an issue later, but decided it was something I didn't want to think about at that moment.

So, here I am, typing away with a finger-band-aid covering the slice in question.

At least it was just an innocent knife in a drawer (an innocent knife that has been cleaned and put in the drawer where I keep the other knives, by the way), and not a zombie wielding a knife.


Robin said...

So sorry. I am hurting for you. Not a blood person.

Emily Ego said...

Everything about this 'non-blog' is genius. LOVE IT!